The Doctor’s Hangover Handbook

Chapter 1: Alcohol and Hangovers Make You Smarter?

Inquiring minds want to know all sorts of things, but do you really want to know about hangovers? I mean after all, if you didn’t know what a hangover was, you probably would not have bought this book. Perhaps you enjoy that head throbbing, cottonmouth, and stomach retching, why-didn’t-I-just-die-last-night, kind of feeling when you’ve had waaaay too much to drink. Knowing too much about what is really going on in your head may make you want to sit this weekend out, rather than to go for the gusto.

For those of you who do not remember buying this book last night, let me keep your interest by recalling what is known as the Buffalo Theory. Many people believe this theory applies to drinking. This is amusing food for thought and if you decide not to read anything else and give this book to a friend, you may at least find some solace in your hangover.

The Buffalo Theory goes like this. Herds of buffalo used to roam the great plains of the Americas. Some buffalo were smarter than others and stayed in the middle of the herd, where they were least likely to be eaten by predators or shot by saber tooth tigers. However, like some people, there were always a few stragglers who were not with the program. They wandered off on their own and were never in the right place at the right time.

These were the dumb buffalo. Over time, they were killed, leaving only the most intelligent buffalo in the herd, and believe me, that’s no bull. In fact, they were so smart that they entered politics, wrote laws, obtained free roaming privileges, free food and the guarantee that they would not be eaten.

Thousands of years later, some scientists found that drinking alcohol killed brain cells, then other scientists (of whom I disavow any personal knowledge) hypothesized that drinking alcohol would make you smarter, because with each drink you killed off the dumber brain cells. The stronger, healthier and betterconnected brain cells could handle the alcohol.

Eventually, if you drank enough beer, wine or distilled spirits, only the very smartest brain cells would remain, and you would no doubt be a genius. If this makes sense to you, buy another copy of this book and
definitely keep reading.

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